Voice Lesson #10

I, myself, do not think I could've sounded worse at my lesson, today..though I'm sure, in actuality, I could have. I think a big part of it is that I want so much to do everything correctly at my lesson, that I sabotage myself. However, I am not upset about it, but rather, I am happy...Why? For two reasons.. One, because I know that this past Saturday, when I went over one of my songs, at home, I was amazed at how well I sang it..stunned actually! And two, despite how bad I sounded today, my teacher saw and heard some good in it..Yea! So I KNOW I can sing these songs pretty well..not completely correct, but still pretty darn good, even if it's not when I'm at my lesson.. and also, she pointed out to me that even though I'm still having trouble with certain things, and I don't "sound" like I would like to sound at this point, there are aspects of my singing that have improved since I first began my lessons with her..and she says that is a very good thing! The fact is, we are continually working on my trouble areas, and until I over come them, which I can do with Jesus by my side, I will continue to get frustrated from time to time. It's all ok though, because overall, there is progress being made. She told me last week that just because I don't sing a song with the perfection that I want to sing it right now, doesn't mean that there aren't good things happening in other areas. She is right, and that's why I'm happy about today's lesson..because I KNOW that there are improvements being made, despite my failures. One thing is my mouth shape on certain vowels. I tend to not open my mouth enough on some vowels, when that is the only thing that will increase my volume and allow that particular note, to come out correctly. I have been "trained", for lack of a better word, to use a microphone, which means I never had to work for my volume..but now, I do.. so it means a whole new way of thinking about mouth shape and vowels, among other things. I also keep forgetting to support my breath...Grrrrrr, I frustrate myself with that because classical voice has everything to do with breathing and breath support. Without it, "I'm sunk", as my teacher would say. So still, there are many things to work on and think about, not to mention that singing classically is a very athletic activity!! It takes a great deal of physicality! It is also a tremendous mental game! I know that in time I will "get it", everything will click, my teacher tells me this, too..but I also know that I can do nothing without Jesus. He is the main part of this journey..it started with Him, and He drives it. He has put the teacher and the tools in front of me, to teach and mentor me, but He is the ultimate leader in all of this, without Him I can do nothing. Thank you, Jesus for this path you've put me on and the means, being my husband and my teacher, to become the best singer I can be, for You. See, Jesus knows that without an amazing husband to support me, and a brilliant and patient teacher to teach me and guide me through these uncharted waters, I am truly, SUNK! Thank you, Jesus..you rock!