An Update To Yesterday's Lesson Post...

If you read yesterday's lesson post, you'll know that I talked a little bit about my mental block, my psychological barrier, which keeps me from doing as well at my lessons, as I do at home when I practice. I brought it up with my teacher and she assured me that it's normal..no one does as well at their lesson, as they can do at home. I thought about this for a week, and decided that even though it's normal, it doesn't have to be. I told her yesterday that I am working on getting past this "block".. that it was cheating me AND her! So today, my husband, Jeff and I were discussing it, and the more we talked about it, the closer we got to what the bottom line is..finally we hit it! The problem is a "lack of confidence in my ability" issue! Yep, that's it! I have sung all my life, in front of audiences and never lacked confidence in my ability, until now. It makes complete sense, though. Learning classical technique is a whole new ball game for me. It's learning a completely different and new way to sing, which I am not yet all that comfortable with...not comfortable with my ability to do it, that is. That however, is because I don't HAVE the ability..YET! I'm learning. What happens is that when I'm at home, I am practicing alone, so I am comfortable with my mistakes and strange sounds, etc.. But then when I go to my lesson, suddenly my confidence level drops because I know, subconsciously, I believe, that the expert (my teacher) is listening and evaluating me. This would make any beginner lose a little confidence. My teacher has been singing, classically, for many years, with tons of training and has an amazing voice...and here I am, a complete novice! I am working on getting past this lack of confidence, however...with time and improvement, it will happen, for sure, but it has to happen sooner than that, because like I said, it's cheating my teacher AND me...and I do not want that. It doesn't do anyone any good. I know that I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me! Thank you, Jesus!