Voice Lesson #12

Well, today would've been much better if I could only do as well at my lesson as I do at home! Aside from tension in the throat, my vowel shapes, my breathing, etc.. all the usual suspects, one of my biggest problems is a mental barrier that prevents me from doing as well at my lesson, as I do at home. Oh boy, is this frustrating! I talked about it a bit with my teacher last week and she told me that it's normal..that everyone is the same way. None of her students do as well at their lesson as they do at home. Well, I listened to her say this all week on my tape, and I began to think, wait a minute, this may be "normal", but it doesn't have to be! I realized that in giving in to this psychological obstacle, I am not only cheating myself, but I am cheating my teacher! She is not privy to what her's and my hard work is really achieving! Not that I am doing great, which is certainly no fault of hers, but I'm doing better than what she hears at my lessons. I don't want either of us to be cheated. I told her all of this today, and said that I am working on breaking past this mental block...it may take a little bit of time, but it's something that I must do! Everything else was about par for the course. I didn't do anything spectacular..no big break through's. However, she gave some new things to try and work on. I'm excited to work on these things, this week. I'm always curious to see if there will be any improvement. Hopefully, at my next lesson, I will be able to show her, a little bit better, what her teaching skills are doing. She has been gifted by God with vast vocal knowledge, an amazing voice, and a true talent and ability to teach. She deserves to hear from me, what's really happening, vocally. I am so blessed by God to be able to do this. Even though there is nothing easy about learning classical voice technique, I love the learning, the practice, making the mistakes and the not so lovely sounds, trying and failing, improving and failing again.. I love all of it! The truth is that even though God has led me to this spot, with these lessons, this teacher, this desire to learn after all these years, He is NOT 'giving" it to me. He is making me work, and work hard, Which I love! I wouldn't want it any other way, actually. The Bible talks about lazy people in many different places. Proverbs 20:4 says..."The lazy man will not plow because of winter; He will beg during harvest and have nothing.". You can't do nothing when things are tough and expect to get what you want in the end. If you aren't willing to work for the goal you desire, you will NEVER get there. As tough as voice is for me now, I can't and won't give up..my desire is to be the best classically trained singer that I can possibly be, for the glory of God..and for that, I must work..and work hard, everyday, which I do! Even when it's frustrating and it seems progress is nowhere to be found..I must forge on! I thank Jesus for putting the desire in my heart and making a perfect way for me to do this..and I thank, as always, my awesome and amazing husband, who I love, who supports me 100%..and my superb teacher for taking on such a challenge, as me! Thank you, Jesus, for it all!